Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Billy Nixes Bozo: Looks To Master Debater For Advice

Earlier, it was reported that Bozo the Clown had volunteered to stand in for Billy Long in the agreed upon debates with Scott Eckersley. The last we heard from Bozo was he waiting for approval from Billy.

We are now hearing reports that last night, after Billy signed thebus (does signing his name on the bus mean Billy agrees with the Koch Brothers and with their beliefs? or is it just another photo-op?) and chose not to answer questions from voters (again), Billy nixed Bozo and banished him to the truck (is this also what happened to Curtis). Reports say Billy is now shooting up the alleys and cutting down the streets in a desperate search for a master deba ---


this just in, hot off the presses!


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Springfield MO - After weeks of negotiations between the seventh congressional candidates, Billy Long has agreed to a question and answer session between himself and his democratic opponent Scott Eckersley. The date for the event is scheduled for November 1st, one day before the election.

According to the terms of the debate, sources have indicated that Billy Long won’t even make an appearance. Instead a “live” Billy Long cardboard cutout of the candidate will be in place with a balloon caption reading ‘I’M FED UP!”.
“To be quite honest,” commented Long, “I thought the August primary was the election,” Long further added, ” The people in the seventh district know where I stand and that is being FED UP. Since this is not a real debate that would allow boring rebuttals that no one would listen to anyway it would be a waste of time to show up. My answer for anything is I’M FED UP.”

Long maintains that questions such as, “How do you feel about corporate bail outs, illegal immigration, health care the Obama and Pelosi agenda?” can all be answered by the answer “I’M FED UP!” This reflects the thinking in southwest Missouri and being FED UP is what the people want confirmed his campaign manager.

“The bottom line is November 3rd I will be moving to Washington D.C.. The people in southwest Missouri will see me on C-SPAN when they cover Congress. I will be the one wearing the cowboy hat. Now when was the last time common sense folks elected someone with a cowboy hat? It has been a quite a while since that happened,” said Long, shown below walking and chewing gum at the same time.
In other news of local interest: area man discovers Cashew Chicken is just fried chicken in oyster gravy.


Anonymous said...

Billy's face is about to consume his glasses.

Anonymous said...

He's a pig. A big fat uneducated pig. Who in the world is behind this total embarrassment to our district and it's people?

Every time I see this man I just cannot believe anyone would elect him for anything let alone congress.

This world IS in a mess for sure and electing this guy won't change a thing for the better.