Todd Graves, Karl Rove, Gonzoles, Missouri: don't mean nothing to me

This, from Fired Up Missouri, is all about that US attorney commotion, it's big in KC?
Picking up on link from the Turner Report, The Heartland Diary of Betty B, she wonders why it didn't get into the papers down here or on the television.

Heck, I'll tell you why the story didn't get into this area: We got more important things to cover, like a dog getting electrecuted from peeing on a light pole in Branson. Now THAT'S news!

No, there isn't a local angle to the attorney story, unless of course, you count the fact that the story concerns Missourians. Then maybe it concerns us down here.

But heck, down here we don't care about suppressing minority voters, heck there ain't no minorities down here except for them ones working in the chicken factories or putting on new roofs and they don't vote no how.

Naw, we got a lot of important things to worry about down here. Thank GOD we got people who keep our eyes on the prize and who are always writing Tony Messenger to keep us on track of the things that are important to us down here in the Ozarks. Things like

keeping bull dykes pesky abortion hoes out of our city and away from our wimmen folk;

keeping our rifles, pistols, shotguns, ak 47s, M-16 guns free and loaded in case I need to defend my castle, or doublewide as the case may be (my cold dead hands--now that's a man!);

Keeping those nasty hairdresser guys from marrying each other and upsetting the little woman, heck it's adam and eve, not adam and bruce! (I got to admit I liked it that the little woman's hair guy told her it was ok to do falinnio;

And thank God for John Ashcroft for covering up that nekkid lady in the halls of justice. Justice may be blind, but she sure had big a boombooms;

And thank goodness our senators and representative have the ability to make a good gumbo out of crayfish, turtles and whatever else animals we can find around this state instead of discussing depressing topics like sick people in wheelchairs kicked off health insurance, or cloning and gosh darnit, it's too bad about them people anyhow but it's survival of the fittest baby, I got mine, you gotta get yours.

Suppression of minority voters? Shucks we got more important things to worry about, like how are we going to get to our minimum wage jobs with three dollar gasoline. Guess I'll have to start smoking generics and drinking Cook's. I heard my kids talking about how cheese and strawberries take the edge off, guess I'll head down to the pricecutter and git me some.