busplunge: The Curbstone Critic on @Auctnr1-- Billy Long

John Stone, one of the first Springfield bloggers I met in person, wrote a blog he called "The Curbstone Critic" which is still out there in cyberspace.

John described himself like this:

I am an aging, liberal, balding, toothless, overweight, male whose idea of "good sex" is a piece of Key Lime cheesecake. So much for introductions.

I wish I could tell you that the name Curbstone Critic was a product of my befuddled mind. Unfortunately, it is not. It was used by an old friend who was the farm editor of the Springfield, Missouri, Leader and Press, and an occasional columnist who took great delight in annoying all the fundamentalists in this small midwestern town, Tom Ellis. RIP

John, who flew F4 fighter jets for our uncle, was a retired biologist and geneticist who had strong opinions about dang near everything (not only that,because he was retired he had the time to tell you). He took great photographs-- like this picture of Jesus in a tree over by Phelps Grove Park. The tree didn't make it through the 2007 ice storm...

"Sadly -- now Jesus lies on the ground cut by a chain saw into about ten pieces.... Even more gruesome than the cross.... SGF fundamentalists must have watched the Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

I have good memories of sitting in the Patton Alley Pub sharing simple thoughts with John, The Snarling Marmot, Fat Jack, Rhetorica, Desdinova and The Complex Mind.

Like Jesus in the tree, John didn't make it through 2007 either. He died on April 3, 2007, taking photographs at the downtown bus transfer station. John was 62.

My brother John, in addition to his blog, "By The Numbers" (linked on my link list on the sidebar) and "Hooniverse", has starting posting on "Curbstone Classics". His first post is about this wonderful 1972 Oldsmobile 98 Hardtop Coupe. Yeah!

Anyhow, I lost the link to John's post about the big black 98 (I'm partial to those early 70s big GMs-- Dad had a Buick Electra Deuce and a Quarter (225) that was bigger than most living rooms I've been in) and, in searching for it, I came across John's blog again. Yeah, it's still out there.

So, on a whim, I did a search of John's blog for any mention of Billy Long. Remember, John died of a heart attack in 2007, so anything he wrote about Billy Long pre-dates Long's foray into politics.

What did The Curbstone Critic have to say about Billy Long? Lots!

October 5, 2004: "Billy Long, a local businessman, who is willing to put his livlihood on the line to be a whore for any freep idea that comes down the line on his radio program on radio KWTO."

February 22, 2005: "Billy Long, a local used car salesman, and peddler of anything and everything, and a good Repug, said something that makes my IQ of 64 look like Einstein."

April 8, 2005: "But we can hold Billy personally responsible for what HE does, can't we? It's the old crazy right-wing idea of taking personal responsibility."

August 2, 2005: "Billy Long fitting in 18 commercials in a 30 minute period and Bonnie Bell doing some sort of Valley Girl talk imitation. So incessantly in-your-face right wing that Bill O'Reilly got an amplifier for his butt plug to drown out the noise."

September 14, 2005: "Billy Long got up early this morning to memorize the latest "talking points" memo for right-wing radio. Unfortunately, he actually believed it, since he didn't bother doing any checking of his own."

John thought Billy Long "half the time (he) doesn't have any idea of what he is talking about. And his only real interest in life is to sell me something."

Yep, I can just imagine what fun The Curbstone Critic would have with Billy Long.

Among the posts mentioning Long was this one, written on the occasion of comments made by Billy Long on his KWTO Morning Line Show on the occasion of the funeral of Coretta Scott King that John titled The Vile State of Local Radio:

The Vile State of Local Radio Thursday, February 09, 2006

I kinda' like local radio salesman Billy Long. I understand that half the time he doesn't have any idea of what he is talking about. And his only real interest in life is to sell me something. But that doesn't bother me since I can always laugh at him, note I said AT HIM, not WITH HIM.

But he has a bad habit of collecting talking points from KKKarl Rove every morning and then mindlessly repeating them, as he did this morning. By slimeing the funeral of Coretta Scott King. He didn't like it -- said it was too political -- I choked on my oatmeal. That's the same way they threw slime all over Paul Wellstone after practically his entire family was wiped out. And by the way, Billy, who the hell asked for your opinion on this woman's funeral anyway. Who in the world gives a flying fuck at a rolling donut hole what the hell you think about it? When you are dead and gone ... no one will care. Her name will be remembered for hundreds of years.

When you think about it what is the difference between Billy slimeing the funeral of Coretta Scott King, who he didn't know, and the Rev. Fred Phelps, of the Westboro Baptist Church slimeing the funerals of soldiers that he didn't know either?

Billy Long is a vile racist ... but he would deny it ... which only shows how badly out of touch he really is ... perhaps if he had black neighbors, or lived in New Orleans, or was poor, or had the man on his back all day, he would be a little more gracious to those who are less fortunate than he is. But I doubt it. Coming from an area that ran the blacks out years ago.

So I dedicate this song, sung by the Pigman on Billy's radio station, hisself as an inspiration to Billy Long.

But I don't expect him to get the message.

posted by John Stone at 2:29 AM 0 comments links to this post