Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Why Waterboarding Isn't Torture

The Hardy Boys.....if you grew up boy you knew the Hardy Boys, Frank and Joe and their friends Chet and Brit plus a slew of others.
Somehow the boys always solved the caper in the nick of time. Often with a hint of wry humor.
In the course of our web travels we came across this entry: How gay were the Hardy Boys?. We read it and laughed and found inuendo in just about every sentence we remembered from the Hardy Boy books we read as a young boy and the 10 minutes episodes on the originial (sorry Britney and Justinyou two just don't compare) Mickey Mouse Club...Jimmy Dodd....Darlene, Annette, Tim Considine.... Spin and Marty (Way out west on the triple R, Yippee Yay, Yippee Yi, Yipee Yo).....and of course, the Hardy Boys.
Then, it hit us. We are about the same age as W, about 10 years younger than Cheney and the attorney general nominee, Mukasey. If we could remember the Hardy Boys with fondness and longing, perhaps they could too.
Destiny references "The Secret of the Caves" for its hidden homosexual agenda (not that there's anything wrong with that), we found it a lot more engorging for its defense of waterboarding:

They were just approaching the cliff that hid the cave from view when Frank halted and peered through the fog at the base of the rocks some distance ahead.

"Do you see somebody lying there, Joe...? Seems like a man sprawled on the sand...."

The boys hastened across the rocks in the direction of the figure on the shore...

They came up to the man sprawled on the sand. He was not dead. An empty bottle lying by his side told the reason for his slumber.

"He's drunk!"

He was quite senseless from the effects of the liquor he had drunk... "This is luck!" exclaimed Frank.

"What shall we do with him? asked Joe.

Frank groped in his pocket and produced a length of stout cord.

"We'll tie him up first!"

"What if he puts up a fight?"

"He's too drunk."

They throw hat-fuls of water into in his face to revive him — but when he wakes up, they keep throwing more water at him.
"Hey! What's this?" roared the car thief indignantly. He had just discovered that his wrists were bound.

"Just a little joke," said Frank.

Water was streaming down the man's face. He was thoroughly aroused by now.

"I'll say he is!" ejaculated Chet Morton.
Sounds like waterboarding to me, and it is just a little joke! A little joke is not really torture because if it were torture, the Hardy Boys wouldn't do it. We all know that.

1 comment:

Ian McGibboney said...

Ha! I was such a huge Hardy Boys fan back in the day. I once saw a magazine article that shared other "gay sex" snippets from their books, but yours is my favorite!

One I found on my own is in The Secret Panel:

"Another dick?" he cried.