Sunday, December 23, 2012

Billy Long goes on a diet

Where's Billy?
He's on the television shilling for a diet plan.

Ah jeez.

On CBS evening news this evening:

Why's he's even got an "infomercial"

But wait, there's more!

Congressman Billy Long Can Barely Get Out of His Chair and Walk Across the Capitol

Leave it to Billy Long to show the worst side of the Ozarks once again. When it comes to politics, Congressman Long is nowhere to be found. We in Missouri are a bunch of fat-assed, fried food eating, red necks...

When asked to come on the Eric Farris and the Super Dave radio shows to discuss how John Boehner purged conservatives from leadership roles, Billy Long was AWOL.

When the News-Leader asked Billy Long about gun control after Sandy Hook, Billy Long gave an answer that left me puzzled as to how committed he is to the Second Amendment, and the answer was provided by a staffer of course.

A spokesman for Rep. Billy Long, R-Springfield, declined to make the congressman available for an interview. And he would not say whether Long could support a proposal to prohibit some automatic weapons or high-capacity ammunition clips.

However, Southwest Missouri constituents can go to bed at night reassured their Congressman is on a needed diet. Weighing in at 320 pounds, Billy Long could barely get out of his office chair, let alone walk down the halls of the US Capitol. We now know why Congressman Long has been dodging interviews and questions. He's walking 90 minutes a week to get healthy--90 minutes. No time for Eric Farris or Dave Day to discuss the conservative purges in Congress as Long auctions down the pounds.

I guess Billy Long doesn't want to expire too soon after that Congressional pension kicks in. He's looking to feed off the American taxpayer for a very long time.

Geez, these people make Southwest Missouri look like a bunch of white trash idiots. Did you catch Gordon Kinne? "Why Billy just loves a good steak!" Yeah, who doesn't except for those folks at PETA.

Remember, it's the day before the Christmas holiday kicks off. It's Sunday night. It's a slow news day.

Wishing no ill will on Billy, and hoping he gets down to a healthy weight and enjoys good health for many years to come, it would just be nice if this guy faced voters, answered the tough questions, and did interviews that might actually challenge him since that guy in Joplin will only throw him softballs. But no, we get another "look at me" story about Billy Long.

By the way, anyone notice Billy Long speaking Spanish in the first part of the interview? What's that about?
Lots of chatter on facebook about this also.


Anonymous said...

He walks 90 minutes a week?

Anonymous said...

90 minutes is barely 10 minutes a day. I bet he doesn't burn 50 calories on an average walk.

Anonymous said...

I hope Subway calls upon him.

Anonymous said...

Will the Metro name a salad after Billy?

Anonymous said...

This diet, like Billy Long, is a scam.

The eight hour diet.... you only eat food, what ever you want, from noon until 8 pm.

Ok, so no breakfast? Guess Billy ain't heard of the breakfast of champions.

Didn't Billy tell us last year he just stays in his apartment and eats ham sandwiches?

How many of his constituents even own a tuxedo. And that bit about the media person asking him his 'neck size'?

Why Billy hasn't given an interview in months! And too think his feelings were hurt because some one supposedly asked him his neck size.

If you are used to eating 16 hours a day, assuming he sleeps eight, and you stop eating for half those hours, you probably will lose weight.

But I'm not sure about a diet that allows you to eat anything you want.

Portion control? You bet, let's start with Billy Long.

Anonymous said...

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Anonymous said...

Very slow news day, indeed. I was at my sister's place in Iowa Sunday night and the TV was tuned to the CBS nightly news when I was startled to see the story about that wily self-promoting congressman of mine hit the screen.

Get a load of this guy, I told my sister and brother in law, this is the man who is my congressman. The man who runs away from attention when it comes to questions about public policy issues, but is so enthralled about his stature that he eagerly seeks publicity about his personal being, even to the point of using his morbid obesity as a lure.

Even if he is a legislative sloth, you have to give him credit for trying to take better care of himself physically. But it raises a few obvious questions: is it for real, or just another crass public relations stunt? And why doesn't he just keep quiet about it in the first place? The answer to the latter is that it guarantees him a followup story, if he delivers on his plan to lose 80 pounds. And finally, does Billy's personal self-improvement program indicate that he will be any more forthcoming in his views about the matters we care more about?

Anonymous said...

I finally broke down and watched this 2 minute infomercial. I applaud anyone for doing something, anything to get in shape but that said, this is a crock.

On so many levels, a 8 hour diet (where you eat whatever you want, whenever you want so long as its eaten between 12 p.m. to 8 p.m.) is so eerily similar to Long's public service. The "8 hour diet" is just like how Billy Long represents us in Congress: without much of any substance, without much of any real dedication and certain to achieve small but not substantial and lasting changes.

Anonymous said...

Say it ain't so. Saw the bus on craigslist, very much underpriced.

Anonymous said...

No breakfast causes people to eat more and increases their chance for diabetes. Billy Long shouldn't be pushing diets that are unhealthy.