We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.
We in Maryland intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware that includes New York, California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get* Intel* and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard (*Princeton, Penn, Haverford, Colgate, U of R)*,. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico