Thursday, August 30, 2012

LIVE FROM TAMPA FLORIDA, IT'S BILLY LONG! "I'm a congressman. Not too proud of that, but I am."

Frequent bus riders will remember that Billy Long and Grover Norquist were to appear onstage at a Tampa comedy club -- we don't know if Grover made the show, but we shure know that Billy did AND somebody live tweeted it!

The tweeter known as "indecision" posted this tweet; "Our night at the Tampa Improv takes a Southern turn as Rep. Billy Long (MO) takes the stage. #twangy! 12:19 AM - 29 Aug 12

Right off the bat, Billy comes on stage and introduces himself: "I'm a congressman. Not too proud of that, but I am." 12:20 AM - 29 Aug 12

Well Billy, if you feel that way about it, why don't you quit.

This tweet from the tweeter known as 'indecision': "Rep. Billy Long just told a long but satisfying joke about Mitt Romney's joke telling skills. Too long to tweet. Ask next time you see him." 12:24 AM - 29 Aug 12

Then, according to those present, Long told several jokes about homosexuals ending with a joke about Congressman Barney Frank with the punch line being "an unfunded man date." Indecision ‏@indecision: Rep. Billy Long just did a Barney Frank joke, punch line: "unfunded man date" 12:28 AM - 29 Aug 1

Long also told jokes about his recent trip to Israel and the scandal that erupted when several congressman on the trip, after a dinner at a local hotel, went swimming, one of them nude, in the Sea of Galilee: "On a recent trip to the state of Israel, they tried to get me to swim but I told them: I don't have a thing to wear."

(Billy liked that joke so much that he repeated it the next day: Daniel Libit ‏@DanielLibit: At Jewish Republican event in Tampa, MO Rep. Billy Long cracks joke about the Sea of Galilee mini-scandal... 3:37 PM - 29 Aug 12

Yep, the next time Billy holds a town hall meeting I am going to ask him just that!

"I'm a congressman. Not too proud of that, but I am."

Billy Long ‏@auctnr1 "Go ahead Punk - make my day - elect Mitt Romney" #2012GOPConvention #Tampa #romneyryan2012 9:10 PM - 30 Aug 12


Mickey said...

In Southern HillBilly speak, does "I'm a congressman, not too proud of that but I am" mean that he IS proud of that?

Sort of like his statement "Either you're for Todd Akin and I'm against Claire McCaskill."

WTF is with this guy? Can't he form complete thoughts and speak in complete sentences?

I guess he's some kind of celebrity?

Anonymous said...

Somebody said he was scarred from too many chubby jokes when he went to Greenwood.

Anonymous said...

It's a COMEDY club. Jokes are told. People don't go their to spay and neuter pets. Sometimes jokes offend everyone. For example:

A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by
asks 'What's wrong, lad?'
The boy says 'Me ma died this morning' 'Oh bejaysus,'
The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father Riley for you?'
The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'


Anonymous said...

And you, anon 10:46, are a fucking prick.

ha ha, just kidding.

it's a joke.


Busplunge said...

Now Boys, if you can't play nice you can't ride the bus.

ps, your mom says hi.

Anonymous said...

Actually, it's been mathematically proven that I am a prick; but you, sir, are low-hanging fruit.

Clint had it right last night about the empty chair.

Here's another one:

I'd just come out of the Price Cutter with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a
jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I
told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

Anonymous said...

"I'm a congressman. Not too proud of that, but I am."

In vino veritas.

Busplunge said...

Anon 9:44 am -- Then there was this twitter reaction to Clint's appearance at the RNC last night was a perfect representation of the 2012 campaign: an old white man arguing with an imaginary Barack Obama.

Anonymous said...

Twitter World was abuzz but this line stuck with me from Romney's speech:
" If you felt that excitement when you voted for Barack Obama, shouldn't you feel that way now that he's President Obama? You know there's something wrong with the kind of job he's done as president when the best feeling you had was the day you voted for him."
As an Independent who voted for President Obama, Mr. Romney spoke directly to me with that one short point. My family and I are needing a change of Presidents. Living on public assistance sucks. I'm on the Wal-Mart plan.

Lindsay said...

Anon 10:42--

-if you don't understand that Walmart is part of the problem you deserve what you've got.

Your comment leads me to believe you are one of those whom Lindsay Graham refers to as 'angry white guys' as in “The demographics race we’re losing badly. We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long-term.”

Anonymous said...

@Lindsay,The Wal-Mart Plan is when you lost your job to offshore cheap labor as Wal-Mart sought constantly lower prices. I for damn sure understand the problem because it is a personal problem for me and my family. If that makes me an angry white man, I'm sorry.

Busplunge said...

Anon 11:05 -- I'm angry too-- at you especially since you don't seem to make the connection between you losing your job to cheap offshore labor and Mitt Romney's Bain Capital investing in companies that moved jobs overseas.

Anonymous said...

"8/30/2012 10:46 PM

"It's a COMEDY club. Jokes are told..."

by our US Representative from MO, a state where local Repub State Reps tried to push through an eleventh hour hate-filled "Don't Say Gay" bill for public schools.

Gay people are trashed by Republicans throughout the country, verbally-legislatively-and now in comedy clubs.

Where do you draw the line in the sand?

John McCain's mean attempt at humor from several years ago at the expense of former Attorney General Janet Reno and the young Chelsea Clinton who was a child at that time, when he suggested they were having an affair?

That was a real two-fer, in that he got to strongly imply these two females were ugly and Lesbians.

He got to trash women and gay folks at the same time.

Anonymous said...

The Boner sure cries a lot for someone who is supposed to be such a bad ass.

Billo321 said...

Boehner cries a lot like the creepy bad guy in scary movies always cries just before he axes someone and eats their face. Creepy crying.

Really, Boehner has betrayed his entire Democratic family. He probably cries from some deep-seated guilt that tells him yes, he is as bad as he thinks he is.

A guy goes to Alaska to pan for gold and spends the first six months in the hills panning. When he has plenty of gold, he goes down to the town, cashes his gold and goes into the town whorehouse.

Slapping $500 on the bar, he shouts, "Bartender, give me a 16-ounce steak, a bottle of whiskey and your fanciest woman!"

The bartender looks at him and says, "Mister, I got the steak and the whiskey, but all of the women left town about three months ago, after the syphilis epidemic."

The miner says, "But I've been without female companionship for six long months. I got to get me a woman!"

The barkeep says, "I'm sorry, but there ain't none around here... But some of the boys have been seeing Pierre up in room 9, and they say it isn't all that bad."

"Pierre? A man? I don't take that crap!" and he stomps out the door.

Six months later, the miner is back in town, cashed in and back at the bar. He slams $1000 down on the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a 16-ounce steak, a bottle of whiskey and your fanciest woman."

The bartender tells him the same story about the women leaving town. The miner gives him such a sad look that he says, "But you know, a lot of the men go see Pierre up in room 9, and they all seem fairly satisfied."

The miner recoils in horror and shouts, "A man? I don't take that crap," and he stomps out the door again.

Six months later he's back, heads straight to the bar with his bag of gold and slams it down on the bar.

"Bartender, I have to have a woman. Here is $10,000 worth of gold. Bring me a woman and a bottle of whiskey!"

The barkeep once again explains, "Mister, I got the whiskey, but the women all left town over a year ago. But like I said, many of the gentlemen swear by Pierre and say he does admirable work."

The miner says, "Pierre? Pierre? Bartender, I'm a man and I don't take that crap, but tell me -- just how many people would have to know about this if I did go and see this Pierre?"

The barkeep says, "Just five people, mister.

"Five!" the miner shouts. "Why so many people?"

"Well," the barkeep says, "there is you, and me, and Pierre, and those two men sitting over there who hold him down. See, Pierre don't take that crap, either."

Who knows why Boehner cries? Maybe something to do with growing up in a bar.

Anonymous said...

Your one-liners are either stupid or stale, Billy.

Even the disheveled and slightly incoherent Clint Eastwood has got you beat.

Anonymous said...

I've been told your blog is a partisan source for the current administration. I appreciate your narrow view of Bain Capital, and, it is narrow.

Was it Romney's responsibility to create jobs at Bain Capital? About the same as your local banker when a loan is made to you.

The banker's responsibility is to make a return on the bank's investment; same deal at Bain Capital.

If the loan creates jobs, good for the economy. If the loan is paid back to the lender, good for the lender. If the loan creates jobs, neither the bank nor Bain should crow about the jobs, the business with the loan 'built' the bussiness, creating the jobs.

Most people who don't pay their bills or pay back loans don't seem to undedrstand this. Are you one of them?

If you play nice you can ride the bus said...

Anon 12:32 PM --

I think you mis-understood me, that happens sometimes when you don't pay attention to details--- I said I was friend of Bill's, not a friend of Billy's.

I also fully understand that someone as special is well accustomed to spelling words correctly but you just did it here to let us know that you're not as smart at you pretend you are.

If you can find the spelling mistake in your response above mine I'll let you continue to ride the bus. If not, then go play with Mitt's boys.

Anonymous said...

Hey 12:32---Well fancy pants Money Boo Boo (Romney) is losing the election Bain or no Bain.

Maybe he should go back to doing business with terrorist countries (that's why he won't reveal his tax returns) and deporting and eliminating jobs.

How American.

Anonymous said...

Hey ya'll,
I hope you're as miserable the next four years with Romney as President as I have been the last four years with Obama. But,if Obama gets re-elected, just think of the mess he'll inherit.

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